Well, here starts the blog starts. It’s been awhile since I’ve done this! What’s going on in this little gal’s life? I’ve been in a big “purge” mode this year. I stopped hanging out with people who wanted me to be something else, and at the same time, I’ve done a pretty good job of not trying to fit whatever mold was put in front of me to be.
I was extremely unhappy with my life, even plotting an impromptu move across country. (Which will still happen, the timing of which is not yet established. Probably a few years.) So I prayed a lot. And the Lord has come through for me a lot. I got my dream car, planted a garden, traveled, and now I’m getting rid of so much physical stuff that’s been stockpiling in and around my home for year and actually taking responsibility for the things I’ve been given. Stewardship was never one of my strong points, and God’s definitely working with me on it.
Right now a lot of things are in the works: making my yard somewhat presentable, growing my own food, learning food foraging, and creating an office for myself. In other words, I’m clearing everything out so that I can reach my maximum potential as a Christian, a Feminist, and a bisexual woman.
Which reminds me, I’ve been both too assertive and cared too much about what other people though when it came to my sexuality. Because I know a couple of people saw “bisexual” and went “WHAT??????” because I’ve pushed very firmly that I am gay. My preference is women, hands down but I always said that because I get seriously annoyed with the follow up questions, so just saying “gay” really made it easier. Taking the heat from my family for even liking the same gender was bad enough, but to take heat from the same community that I was able to take refuge in was unbearable. The gay community itself is very hostile to bisexual women because of all the “experimenters”. Not only that, but if I said bisexual, people would automatically assume I’d still wind up with a man for the rest of my life.
I guess I had preferred that people believe I’m absolutely going to marry a woman, and marry a man then disappoint people who always believed I’d marry a man and wind up marrying a woman. But I’m “coming out” now as a bisexual, because, as I said at the beginning of this blog, I’ve started to do a pretty good job of not trying to fit into the mold that may have been more convenient to other people. It’s MY sexuality, and I have to work on understanding that what other people say about it is truly irrelevant.
Now, back to my projects. I have always been pretty good about being a vocal feminist. The cliché “actions speak louder than words” is a cliché for a reason, though. While my intentions were good, speaking seemed to be the only thing I COULD do. I was educated on the issues, with no understanding of what to do to help. That, and, the issues seem so broad and huge to tackle. What diplomat is going to listen to my wimpy e-mail about sex slavery? I’ve definitely looked over a lot of things. My focus on DOING is going to be more local. Once I’ve established an ability to do good things within my own community, I can begin compiling my resources for more. I think baby steps will help a lot more than wanting to be superwoman. That is why I’m setting up an office and organizing my life.
Right now I’m working on a project to compile data about sexual misconduct in colleges in Iowa. I am learning their policies for sexual conduct, and how they actually put it in action. Also researching some of the best-rated sexual conduct policies throughout the states and seeing how we can apply them to our own schools. I am hoping to align myself with various women’s groups around campus to make policy changes and EDUCATE people on the existing, and any new policies. Think about it…are you a woman in college? Do you know who to go to if you are harassed, abused, or raped? Do you know what you medically should and should not do? Would you be afraid to go to someone? If so, why, and what can we do to fix it? Even if I get shut down and nothing happens at all, I at least can get my feet wet and know what I should and should not do for the next time, so I want to remain encouraged.
The next portion is organizing a male-inclusive feminist group. Actually, that should probably come first, come to think of it. In any case, I want to provide people with the opportunities to talk about being a woman, or your relationship to woman, and how you are impacted by woman’s issues. I want people to be able to discuss, come up with ways to act, celebrate, and connect. We’re talking everyone sits around with a beer and talk, nothing super formal.
I’m looking forward to actually keeping this blog! It’s going to be both personal and professional. You can follow my adventures, my views, and watch as I change if you feel me interesting enough to do so. J
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